Right now I'm throwing a pitch idea back and forth with the help of the awesome Cully Hamner (Red, The Question) about a Monkey's Paw-like substance that helps you achieve whatever makes you happy... or, as I should word this a little more carefully, whatever pleases you the most. Here is the pitch as I first sent it to Cully, back when it was extremely vague in my head:

"Pleasure is binary—no matter what we do, we are either in pursuit of pleasure, or escaping from displeasure. No matter whether it’s immediate, long-term, or delayed, it is the human condition to seek pleasure out and pursue it. But too much pleasure makes us shortsighted and impulsive, only able to see our next outlet for pleasure and nothing beyond.
"For one bar in particular—arguably a haven of pleasure for its regulars—nine people, each representing an aspect of pleasure or displeasure, are drawn into a downward spiral towards madness as they recklessly pursue pleasure at all costs. Only one person, a new waitress unable to choose which pleasures to pursue, can see what is happening to the other nine, but she finds herself paralyzed with indecision about whether to save them, or save herself."

Cully was unimpressed, and rightly so. He was, thankfully, very brutal, so I could see where I went wrong and how to improve it. He told me it sounded like the back of a book, and that I needed to be as specific as possible. Here are some of the questions he asked me about the story:

"What are the nine people doing there? Why nine, and not, say, three? Why are they compelled toward pleasuring themselves here, and why is it a “downward spiral toward madness?” What is so special about the waitress, and why is she “unable” to choose? Save herself from what? The premise is ill-defined. And my final question about the whole thing, the characters, the premise, the setting: TO WHAT END?"

So I reworked it, keeping everything he told me in mind. Now it's in limbo once more, awaiting Cully's reply. Here's what it's evolved into:


"A small downtown bar has a sudden surge of popularity due to the invention of a new, coveted kind of spirit called Wormwood. There are endless varieties of drinks sold with Wormwood in them, but the recipe is always clear—one third Wormwood, two thirds anything else. The effects are never the same, but the opinion is universal—after having some Wormwood, you will suddenly find yourself able to obtain your desires. People flock to the bar, not caring that not even the owner knows what Wormwood is or where it comes from, seeing it as an answer to all of their problems, whether they lie in success, fame, money, or love.

Elizabeth, the new waitress hired specifically for the surge in business, seems to be the only person able to recognize that Wormwood’s seemingly magical aftereffects are neither permanent nor beneficial. As the only person able to resist the temptation of Wormwood, she tries to put together the pieces of the broken lives Wormwood is leaving behind, but with little success. Blinded by the instant gratification that Wormwood brings, the people around her spiral into addiction as their lives get out of control.

Growing fed up with the mystery of Wormwood, Elizabeth resolves to uncover its secrets in order to stop the negative effects it is having on people. But going through one supplier after another, all of them hopelessly addicted to the delight that Wormwood brings, she realizes that it is an endless loop—all of the suppliers pass on the Wormwood to each other, but no one knows exactly where it comes from. Only after sacrificing the few things that she desired—her job and her friends who now spend all their time at the bar—does she find herself at the doorstep of the operation manufacturing and selling Wormwood. With nothing left to lose, she throws herself into becoming a part of the operation in order to bring it down."

I'll update on this the next time Cully tells me how bad this pitch is, but it answers the questions he posed. There are no longer nine people but a different ensemble, all of them looking for their heart's desires through Wormwood. They are compelled to pleasure themselves there because there is no other supplier for Wormwood, and it is addictive. When they go without Wormwood for too long, the effects fade and even get worse over time, so they have to be there to continue their prolonged happiness. The downward spiral towards madness becomes a spiral into addiction. The waitress, Elizabeth, no longer is unable to choose, mainly because Wormwood has no effect on her. And to what end? To destroy Wormwood and release the people she cares about from its grip!

More on Wormwood coming soon!